


Shattered

by krzed



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Hypnosis, Implied NathPenny, Peacock Nathalie Sancoeur, Season/Series 02 Spoilers, Sort Of, Starting to see more MamaNath
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2018-12-19 04:17:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11889828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krzed/pseuds/krzed
Summary: Nathalie is being torn apart by bizarre dreams. Dreams of becoming a supervillain. Dreams of fighting Team Miraculous. She can't sleep, she can't focus, and she can't shake the feeling that these dreams might not be dreams.Inspired by the amazing art of@twindoodle





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be a one shot, but so much for that...

Silence surrounded Nathalie, broken only by the sharp click of her nails on her keyboard, the buzzing in her own mind, and the clink of ice in a glass of scotch that had done little to still said buzzing. She was not one to drink on the job, but lately, she’d been plagued by bizarre dreams. Dreams that defied logic. Dreams that always began and ended with the same glowing pink eyes.

She shook her head and attempted to refocus on the sales reports from Milan, but the damn dreams would not allow her rest. In them, she was often racing across the rooftops of Paris alongside Ladybug and her team. Actually, ‘alongside’ implied a measure of camaraderie. Nathalie was  _fighting_  them. She assumed dreams of fighting against Ladybug were common among Hawkmoth’s victims, but she had never been akumatized. So why was she having these dreams?

As she turned the details of her dreams over in her mind, curiosity got the better of her and she opened a new tab on her web browser. A few keystrokes brought her to the Ladyblog and a new entry from the previous day. Blurry pictures and shaky footage showed an Akuma with blonde pigtails and a suit of  _horrid_  neon colors, but that girl was not Nathalie’s focus. It was on Ladybug’s other foe: Le Paon. Rumored to be another Miraculous wielder, Le Paon had accompanied every Akuma for the past few months. This detail stood out to Nathalie for two reasons.

One: The start of her dreams coincided with Le Paon’s first appearance.

And two: When she fought Ladybug in her dreams, she was wielding fans made of blue feathers.

Nathalie tossed back the last of her scotch, pushed herself to her feet, and made for Gabriel’s liquor cabinet, intent on refilling her glass. It was impossible. There was no way she was a supervillain. What was she doing, sleepwalking? If she dug deep enough into her closet, would she find a blue spandex bodysuit and a pair of fans? It would certainly explain her fatigue and muscle stiffness as of late. She shook her head, uncapped the bottle of scotch, paused, then set the glass aside and brought the bottle to her lips.

“Putting in late hours again?”

She coughed and nearly dropped the bottle. She hated just how quiet Gabriel could be if he tried. She turned to him and sputtered, “S-sorry, sir. I’ll replace it, I-”

He held up a hand. “It’s alright, Nathalie. I understand your job is quite…stressful as of late.”

She recapped the bottle and set it aside. “Again, sir, I’ll replace it. I just…I can’t sleep. I’ve been having bizarre dreams lately.”

“Really?” He arched a brow. “What are they about?”

_Fighting against Paris’ heroes because I apparently moonlight as a supervillain and I’ve been unaware of it this whole time._ “I’d rather not say, sir.”

He shrugged. “You’re prerogative. I actually came to inform you that Jagged Stone’s assistant has been akumatized.”

Nathalie stilled. “Penny?”

“I know the two you you dated in university, so I thought you’d like to know.”

She brought a hand to her mouth. “I…I hope she’ll be alright. I hope Ladybug isn’t too rough with her.”

“Troublemaker will be fine; she will be receiving assistance shortly.”

“Troublemaker?” Nathalie assumed that was Penny’s Akuma name, but why had Gabriel used it? And what did he mean by her receiving assista-

“It was you who broke my Meissen plate.”

Every muscle in Nathalie’s body tensed. That phrase. Now that Gabriel had spoken it, she recalled that exact phrase from her dreams. The pink silhouette of a butterfly formed around Gabriel’s eyes and an identical silhouette appeared over Nathalie’s.

“Haw…Hawkmoth…” Something akin to screaming had begun in Nathalie’s mind, accompanied by a burning from the back of her head. It seemed to originate from the hair pin Gabriel had given to her months ago as a gift. A pin in the shape of a…feather. Movement in the corner of her eye focused her attention on her purse and a tiny blue creature emerging from within. A creature that resembled a peacock and had Le Paon’s pink eyes.

The same pink eyes in Nathalie’s dreams.

The feather pin, gifted to her just before her dreams began.

Her Miraculous.

“I-I’m…” Nathalie stammered. “I’m Le Paon.”

“Please stop fighting, Nathalie.” To anyone other than her, Gabriel’s expression had not changed, but she knew him well enough to spot the distinct sympathy in his eyes. “Though you don’t believe it, I don’t enjoy doing this to you.”

“Then why?” she growled through gritted teeth, her fingernails digging into her temples.

“I’m trying to bring Felice back. We both loved her and we both miss her, but I know you would never willingly help me after all I’ve done to Paris, which is why I’ve had to resort to hypnosis.”

“You’re…you’re damn right I won’t help you!” She dropped to her knees, the shrieking in her mind now nearly unbearable. “I’ll f-fight you!” she cried in weak protest.

Gabriel sighed, his expression of sorrow now apparent to anyone. “I know you will.”

“Duusu.” The word…no the  _name_ slipped unbidden past Nathalie’s lips. Duusu? Who was Duusu?

“Because you always fight me.”

“Fan…” Nathalie bit down on her lips, trying to fight the words.

“And you always lose.”

“…s-s…spread.”


	2. Chapter 2

A sharpened quill ricocheted off of Jade Turtle’s shield and a second found purchase in his shoulder. Nathalie spun around, swiped one fan to deflect a gold and black trompo, then tossed the other. Queen Bee shrieked in pain as she fell from the sky, one of her gossamer wings shorn from her back. A growl of pure rage behind her alerted Nathalie to a third threat, and she brought a fist across Vixen’s chin, dropping her to the ground. She stomped hard on the fox’s chest, pinning her to the asphalt.

“Hand over your earrings, Ladybug,” Nathalie demanded in a voice that wasn’t hers, “and this can all end.”

“D-don’t do it!” Vixen yelled. “We’ll be fine, you can’t let Hawkmoth wi- _AAGH!”_ Nathalie twisted her stiletto heel into the girl’s ribs, coaxing scream after scream up Vixen’s throat that only grew louder when Nathalie heard a muted snap from beneath her boot.

“No!” Ladybug glanced around at her friends. Jade’s shield arm hung dead at his side, blood dripping from the wound in his shoulder, only bleeding more as he attempted to rip out the feather dart. Bee lay unconscious beside a dented car that had broken her fall, her amputated wing a few meters away. Vixen’s breaths came shorter and shallower, pain stretching her face at every intake of air. Ladybug turned her eyes to Nathalie, full of defiance, but they softened as she slowly reached for her ears.

“Ladybug no!” Nathalie lifted her head to see something dropping from the sky: a mass of pure black broken up by a pair of intense green eyes. Sparks of black and green ignited around a clawed hand, a hand aiming right for her face.

_“Cataclysm!”_

Nathalie screamed to an empty room as she shot upright in her bed, her sheets and tanktop twisted around her. Her hair clung to her face, a cold sweat coating her entire body. She panted and gasped for a full minute before a shaking hand searched her nightstand for her glasses and only succeeded in knocking over her water glass. She swore and instead fumbled for the light, her hand passing over a clock that read 1:42. The moment her lamp came on, she threw back her sheets, rushed into her bathroom, and vomited into her toilet. A few minutes later with her stomach empty, she dropped onto the cold tile, the taste of copper, bile, and cheap alcohol fresh in her mouth. She ran a hand over her face, perhaps trying to rub away the memories of the dream.

The nightmare.

She pushed herself shakily to her feet and flipped on the faucet. A few splashes of cool water to her face did little to calm her nerves, but were better than nothing. She braced her hands on the sink, coughed, then spat, hoping to expel the foul taste in her mouth and the last memories of the nightmare with it.

“My god, what’s happening to me?” She blinked groggily, spat into the sink again, then lifted her head…

And jumped back in horror at the sight of her reflection.

The first thing that struck her was her pale skin, but she almost expected it after the last few nights she’d had. What she hadn’t expected was the glowing pink eyes staring back at her from behind the dark blue ovals of Le Paon’s mask. Her hair the same color, her lips an icy azure, and her body coated from the neck down in a blue costume that clung to her every curve.

Flashes of last week when Penny was akumatized flew through Nathalie’s mind as she attempted to rein in her rapid breaths. Her recurring nightmares. The ‘coincidence’ that her nightmares began when Le Paon first appeared. Her suspicions that she might  _be_  Le Paon. Her blackouts, the gaps in her memory, though on the day Penny became Troublemaker, Gabriel assured her she collapsed in her office due to exhaustion.

Her eyes darted down to her hands and arms. Bare and pink, not a stitch of blue, though she turned them over and inspected them in disbelief, wary that the blue fabric might bloom across her skin at any moment. When she lifted her eyes back to the mirror, gone was the vision of the supervillain, replaced with the fatigued and panicked form of Nathalie Sancouer, just as it should be, though bags and dark circles rimmed her eyes, most likely what triggered the disturbing vision. She planted her hands on either side of the sink and leaned forward, glaring into her own eyes.

“I’m not Le Paon,” she said, willing herself to believe it. “I’m not a supervillain. I’m not.”

She would repeat this mantra over and over as she lay in bed, tossing and turning for the next twenty minutes, until she decided she needed a distraction, something mindless to relax her until she could get back to sleep. She flipped her TV over to Netflix and spent the next half hour searching for something to watch. Five hours and six episodes of Wynonna Earp later, she determined two things.

One: she hated Doc Holliday’s mustache.

Two: there was no way she was getting back to sleep, so she might as well go into work early, 

Her shower took longer than usual because she kept finding bruises she didn’t remember getting. She chalked it up to tossing and turning in her light sleep more often than usual, or perhaps collapsing at work as Gabriel claimed. She took her time dressing and applying her makeup, shooting a text to Mr. Gorille to have a pot of coffee waiting for her when she arrived, then collected her purse and made for her door, only to pause with her hand on the knob. She felt her eyes almost forced back to her vanity. Particularly, to the blue feather pin Gabriel had given her.

_…put it on…_

Something in her gut told her to leave the pin. Yes, it was a gift, but there was nothing in inherently special about it. Besides, she felt like leaving her hair down today.

_…Put It On…_

She barely registered the click of her heels on the floor as she slowly walked to the piece of jewelry and took it into her hands. It felt warm. It almost pulsated in her grasp.

_…PuT iT oN…_

She rubbed her thumbs across the pin, her eyes glazed over and unaware of the pink butterfly silhouette surrounding her eyes. She shut her eyes, feeling a slight headache coming on.

_…PUT IT ON…_

When Nathalie reopened her eyes, she was in her bathroom, pulling her hair into her signature bun and affixing it with the pin. There. Now she felt right. She felt complete. She exited her bathroom and finally strode to her door, oblivious to the small blue creature that slipped silently from beneath her bed and into her purse, casting a sad, sympathetic gaze up at her forced partner.


	3. Chapter 3

Had Nathalie gotten more than…two maybe?…hours of sleep the previous night, she may have been shocked at what she saw when she pushed open the door to Adrien’s room. She may have been shocked to discover Nino and Adrien side by side on the couch, their lips awkwardly pressed together. She may have been shocked that Adrien’s ‘poly phase’ wasn’t a phase as Gabriel insisted. But as it stood now, she couldn’t bring herself to care. After all, whoever Adrien kissed- be it the young designer, the Ladyblogger, the DJ, or the mayor’s daughter- was none of her business.

She almost chuckled to herself when she cleared her throat and watched them jump apart, though the laughter died when she saw Nino wince and clutch his right shoulder. She reminded herself to inquire after the injury, but first…

“Jeez, Nathalie! Knock next time, okay?” Adrien shuffled on his feet and rubbed the back of his neck. Nathalie’s heart pinched at the gesture. She already knew he was practically Felice’s clone, but he had even adopted her nervous ticks…

“I’m sorry, Adrien,” she said after a few seconds, her mind attempting to catch back up. “The door was open and I…” She sighed. “Look, let’s cut to the chase: I want to make a deal with you.”

Adrien and Nino exchanged glances. “Deal?” they asked.

“If you allow me to take a nap in your bed, I won’t tell your father I walked in on you making out with the young man he expressly forbade from entering his home and…I’ll negotiate more down time between photoshoots for you.”

“A nap? Are you okay?” Adrien stepped forward. “You don’t look so good.”

Nathalie pinched her brow and groaned. “I’ve gotten maybe six hours of sleep in the past four days, and I need some relief. Your room is one of few in the mansion not outfitted with security cameras, and the only one of those with a bed not in pla- _aaahaaaah!_ ” she yawned behind her palm. “Ah, ex-excuse me. In plain view of the door. I don’t want your father to catch me sleeping on the clock, so do we have a deal or not?”

Another yawn crept up on her and she teetered on her heels. Adrien lunged forward to grab her by the elbow and guide her to his bed. “Wow, Nathalie, yeah, sure. Take, uh, take all the time you need.” He pulled back the blankets and watched as Nathalie toed off her shoes, crawled between the sheets, and settled her head on his pillow. He asked if she needed him to tint the windows, but she was already asleep, a light snore emerging from her huddled form. He smiled and pulled the blankets back up around her.

“Dude, and I thought  _you_ were dead on your feet sometimes.”

Adrien walked back over to the couch and dropped next to Nino. “I’ve never seen her like this before. She looks terrible, she looks like…”

Plagg chose that exact moment to fly upwards out of wherever he’d been hiding. “Like you after back to back photoshoots  _and_ a late-night Akuma.”

Adrien clapped his hands around the kwami and shot his eyes back to Nathalie. “Stay down, Plagg! What if she sees you?”

“Oh, come on! She’s out like a light!”

Wayzz also rose from his hiding spot. “It’s still better to be cautious, Plagg.”

The cat kwami grumbled, but said nothing further. Adrien and Nino slumped backwards on the couch and let out simultaneous sighs. “Well, mood’s gone,” Nino lamented. Adrien nodded. “Any more anime you want to torture me with?”

Adrien thought about it, then grinned. “We could finish Outlaw Star.”

(#)

Nathalie lay on her back on an endless plain of grass, hands folded behind her head, watching as the clouds drifted by. She smiled up at the sky and let out a contented sigh. She didn’t know how, nor was she going to question it, but she knew this was a dream. The most pleasant dream she’d had in months. There was no battle, no Team Miraculous, no Le Paon. Just her, a clear blue sky, and not a care in the world.

“Nathalie!”

At her name, she sat up and glanced around. Running towards her in that slow motion run that is common in dreams was Felice Agreste. Blonde hair flowing in the gentle breeze, the light blue dress she’d been wearing the last time Nathalie saw her fluttering around her. Beautiful green eyes focused on her, but in her current mood, Nathalie completely missed the urgency in those eyes. She rose to her feet and when Felice finally reached her, captured her in an embrace.

“Felice, I’ve missed you so much.” Nathalie turned her head to kiss the woman’s cheek, but felt herself being pushed away. “What…what’s wrong?”

“Ther…o time…” Felice’s voice came in stilted spurts of static, unintelligible. Even her very form seemed to waver. “Gabr…..awkmo…he…..olling yo….I’m….municati……through my Mirac…….Duusu…”

“Duusu…” Nathalie remembered that name from…somewhere, but couldn’t place it.

Felice opened her mouth to continue, but a rumble of thunder disturbed the peaceful scene. Nathalie lifted her eyes to the steadily darkening sky, and when she returned them to Felice, the woman was several meters away being pulled by some unseen force. Nathalie reached out to her, but stopped and stared down at her arm: a pale white hand and a sleeve of navy blue. She dropped her gaze and gaped at the form-fitting blue costume that now coated her body. Le Paon’s costume.

Nathalie shook her head, a tear creeping across the mask she knew now rested on her face. “Not again…”

(#)

“Leyline Project Command: It was you who broke my Meissen plate.”

No sooner had Hazanko spoken those words did Nathalie begin to moan and writhe in the bed. Adrien and Nino both stood, Melfina’s fate forgotten, and quickly made for the bed. All attempts to rouse Nathalie were met with grunts or swipes of her hand. When her breathing became short and labored, Nino pulled out his phone, ready to call the hospital, but he stopped and nearly dropped it when he heard her next words. 

"Duusu,“ she moaned, pulling the blankets over her head. "Fan spread.” The edges of the sheets flew upwards, blue light emitting from beneath, and both young men heard the twinkling of bells and the crackle of sparks, a sound they were both familiar with. After the sheets settled back down, Nathalie’s light snore returned as though nothing had happened.

“Did…” Adrien began. “Did she just transform?” Nino nodded. When Adrien reached out for the sheets, Nino caught him by the wrist.

“We need to call the others, now.”

“Why?”

Nino looked Adrien directly in the eye and answered with a shaking voice, “Duusu is the peacock kwami.”

Adrien’s brow rose and he whipped his head back to the form curled beneath his blankets. There was no way Nathalie could be… He pulled his wrist from Nino’s grasp and reached for the covers. He took in a deep breath, pulled back the sheets…

To reveal Le Paon asleep in his bed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems I can only write and update this when it's the middle of the night. #mymuseisnocturnal

The five heroes of Paris stood around Adrien’s bed, gazing down at the slumbering form of Le Paon, the only movement coming from her the gentle rise and fall of her chest.

“Nathalie is Le Paon,” Ladybug said. “Adr…Chat, I’m so sorry. I…never would have guessed. She doesn’t  _seem_ evil…”

“She’s not,” Chat insisted, his jaw tight.

Queen Bee scoffed. “Uh, my wing? Vixen’s ribs? Jade’s shoulder, ringing any bells?”

“Jade and I think Hawkmoth is controlling her.”

“How do you figure?” Vixen asked.

“Wayzz…” Jade sighed. “Wayzz sensed an akuma inside her Miraculous.”

Each hero turned their shocked eyes to Jade, then back down to Le Paon. “She’s…akumatized…” Ladybug murmured. “That means she’s been doing all of this against her will.”

Chat nodded. “Think you can purify it?”

“I don’t know.” She turned to Jade. “Is it possible to break a Miraculous?”

“I don’t think so. Nothing in Master Fu’s books about this.”

Ladybug took a tentative step forward and tilted Le Paon’s head to the side. When she reached for the fanned feather pin in the woman’s bun, an arc of purple electricity shot from it to Ladybug’s glove. She jerked back her hand and shook the numbness from it. “So I guess taking her Miraculous isn’t an option. But if I can’t get the Miraculous from her, and I can’t break it, then how do I purify the akuma?”

“Maybe you could shine the light from your yoyo on it?” Queen Bee suggested. “That’s how you sort of healed the rest of us, right?”

Ladybug took her yoyo from her hip and flicked her finger across it. It opened, spilling white light from within. “Worth a shot. Jade, hold her head steady. Everyone else, get ready in case she fights back.”

“Just so you know, Chat,” Vixen began, drawing her flute from her hip, “she attacks us, I’m putting my foot across her face. I don’t care if she  _is_ your nanny or whatever.”

“Vixen!” Jade hissed, his hands on either side of Le Paon’s head holding it to the side. “What if she hears you?”

Vixen muttered a few apologies and readied herself. Jade nodded to Ladybug and she lowered her yoyo to the peacock pin.

(#)

“ _Cataclysm_!”

Nathalie rolled to the side, releasing Vixen from beneath her boot, and let Chat Noir slam to the ground where she had been. She dashed across the street, retrieved the fan that had clipped Queen Bee’s wing, and brought it around to shield herself. It soon dissolved in a shower of rust-colored ash. She brought the other down, intent on cleaving into Chat’s skull, but he deflected with his staff. She used the momentum to spin around and slash the fan across his middle. He jumped back just enough that the bladed edge only left a faint scrap across his suit.

“… _athal_ …”

Nathalie shook her head, ignoring the voice that echoed around her. She barely heard the familiar whine of Ladybug’s yoyo chord to deflect it with her remaining fan. Chat leapt to his Lady’s side, his staff at the ready.

“Your team is falling, Ladybug,” Nathalie taunted in that same unfamiliar voice. “A tur-”

“… _Nat…lie…”_

Ladybug and Chat Noir’s forms wavered as the voice resounded once again around them, but Nathalie ignored the anomaly and continued. “A turtle that can’t raise his shield, a bee that can’t fly, and a fox that can’t take in a breath to play her flute. One by one, Ladybug, I’ve crippled your team.” She split the ribs of her fan into a set of feather darts and held them between her fingers. “It’s just the two of you. However, if you both surrender your Miraculous, my master promises he will restore your friends, and the city, to rights.”

“And why should we trust Hawkmoth?” Ladybug challenged.

“…Nathalie _…”_

The voice calling her name came much clearer this time. She glanced around, and found the distorted form of Felice Agreste struggling against a purple miasma wrapped around her wrists and ankles.

“Nathali…isten to m…,” Felice pleaded in the same broken voice as before. “…….oth’s contro…..waning. I’m he..ping…uusu fight the aku….influence, but you’re not…..of the woods yet.”

As Felice’s words became clearer, the smoke restraining her dissipated and the dream around them fractured more and more. Ladybug and Chat Noir disappeared, and the city around her seemed to dissolve much like the fan Chat had destroyed. Nathalie even felt more in control of her body, less of a spectator.

“I can fee..it. Whatever…adybug is doing, she needs to ke…it up.”

“Felice,” Nathalie finally found herself able to say. “Felice, what’s going on? Why am I dressed like Le Paon? Why am I having these dreams? How are you here?”

“Ther…no time to…plain everything, but I’m here becau…my memories, my essen…my lifefor……imprinted on the Miraculo… I was the peacock befo…you.”

“The peacock…before me?” Nathalie shook her head. “But I’m not! I’m not Le Paon! This is just a dream!”

“..es, you are. Ga….iel has forced you to become L…Paon, forced you t…elp him, and these aren’t ..eams. They’re memori…”

“Memories? You mean…” She cast her eyes down to the now still forms of Jade Turtle, Queen Bee, and Vixen, slowly fragmenting into dust along with the rest of the world. “This actually happened? I… _I_  did this?”

“Not willingly,” Felice assured her, the woman’s voice finally coming through clear. “Now, I’ve finally subdued the akuma Gabriel is using to control you.”

“Gabriel?”

“Yes.” Felice nodded, her eyes dropping. “Gabriel…my husband…is Hawkmoth.” She lifted her eyes and planted her hands on Nathalie’s shoulders. “Look, there will be time for explanations and reunions later. For now, you need to help Ladybug and her team defeat Gabriel. Once they know his identity, he won’t be able to hide.”

“Defeat? Felice, I…” Nathalie stepped backwards out Felice’s grip. “I can’t fight! A-and if what you say is true, they won’t trust me! They think I’m a supervillain!”

“They will believe you. You can do this, Nathalie,” Felice smiled. “I believe in you.” She stepped forward and kissed Nathalie on the cheek. “Now, wake up.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, so much stress in my life, but I finally finished another chapter.

Nathalie yawned and blinked her eyes open. When she did, she expected to see any number of things: her phone displaying some obscenely early hour, Adrien and Nino making out on the couch again, perhaps even Gabriel come to personally fire her for falling asleep on his time. What she did not expect was a shocked Jade Turtle with his hands on the sides of her head.

She shrieked and flailed her arms, jerking upright in the bed and scrambling away from the hero who had invaded her _personal space thank you very much!_ He backed away, drew his shield from his back and glanced to the side. Nathalie followed his gaze and saw every one of Paris’ heroes in Adrien’s room with their weapons drawn and their eyes on her. Slowly, her memories of the dream she’d just had crept back into her mind and she looked down at her own hands.

Pale white skin and dark blue sleeves that ran from her wrists all the way to her shoulders. She threw back the blanket and stared down at her body: a blue bodysuit with a long skirt twisted around her legs. Black boots, and a pair of fans hanging from a thin belt at her waist. She shook her head even though was literally wearing the proof, even though Felice confirmed everything in her dream.

She _was_ Le Paon.

“Miss…” Ladybug started. Nathalie turned her head and didn’t miss how Ladybug recoiled under her gaze. “Miss…Sancouer?”

“It’s true.” Nathalie could think of nothing else to say. She lifted her hands to her cheeks and felt the ridge, the thin line between her face and...her mask. “I’m...I’m...”

She leapt out of the bed and dashed into Adrien’s bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind her. She ran to the windows and shut each one before accessing a hidden keypad on the wall and entering the lockdown code. Steel shutters dropped before the windows and only then did she release the breath she’d been holding.

She dropped her eyes to her hands again, to the costume she wore. She strode over to the mirrors and gazed into them. Le Paon gazed back, but unlike last night, this wasn’t some fatigue-induced hallucination. That was her body, her face, her eyes.

“Okay.” She took a deep breath in through her nose and eased it out of her mouth. “First thing I need to do is get out of this stupid costume.” She looked down. “Not that I understand how I got _in_ it...”

She first attempted to remove her ‘wig’, which she soon learned was quite attached to her. Next, she tugged at the edges of her mask which refused to release its hold on her face. Then, she turned about and examined every inch of her suit, finding neither a seam nor a zipper. She took to clawing at the collar, trying to cram a finger into the neckline and stretch it away from her, but nothing worked.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and bit back her tears. She wouldn’t allow herself to break down or panic. She was stronger than this. She was Nathalie Sancouer, dammit...even though she didn’t look like it. All because of stupid Gabriel and this stupid Miraculous...

Hmm...the Miraculous...

She reached behind her head and wrapped her fingers around the pin, intent on simply ripping the Miraculous from her hair, but before she could, she heard a voice cry out in her mind.

‘ _Don’t remove it, Nathalie!’_

“Felice?” Nathalie glanced around the bathroom, but saw no vision of her boss’ wife.

_‘If you remove it, I can’t protect you from Gabriel’s control!’_

“Then what am I supposed to do?” Nathalie sobbed.

“Nat, um...” Chat Noir’s voice came from the other side of the door. “M-Miss Sancouer, are you alright?”

“How do I-” she croaked. She cleared her throat, refusing to let anyone hear her weakness. “How do I take the suit off? There’s no zipper, no seams...”

“It’s magic.” This voice belonged to Jade Turtle. “The suits can’t physically come off. There’s a command phrase you have to speak to undo the transformation.”

“Well, what is it?” Nathalie demanded, her composure breaking. She never thought she could be claustrophobic just wearing a spandex costume. _‘A magic spandex costume that’s basically glued to my skin!’_ she reminded herself.

“It’s unique to each Miraculous, but it’s usually the inversion of whatever you said to transform.”

“But I don’t know what I said! I just-” she waved her hands at her body “-woke up like this!”

“We heard, or uh, at least,” Chat stuttered, “Adrien and Nino told us they heard you say ‘Fan Spread’ before they found you and called us. Maybe try something based on that?”

“Okay...fan...close?” Nothing. “Let’s see...peacocks are birds, so fan roost?” No change. “No, that sounded stupid...”

‘ _Fan rest.’_

Nathalie’s head perked up at Felice’s voice. Of course. She used to be a peacock, so she’d know how the transformation worked.

“Okay,” she took in a breath. “Fan rest.”

Blue sparks crackled about her feet and rose over her body. Nathalie closed her eyes as the wave washed over her and opened them to see herself, her true self, in the mirror, albeit a little disheveled. She also saw a blue ball of energy streak from behind her head and settle onto the counter beside the sink, where it formed into a tiny creature that resembled a peacock. It shook it’s bulbous head, looked up at Nathalie, and gave her a tired smile.

“Uh, there’s a tiny bird-creature on the sink,” Nathalie said, not taking her eyes off of it.

“That’s your kwami! It worked!” Nathalie heard a quick clap from the other side of the door and assumed Jade and Chat high-fived. “Can you let us in now?”

Nathalie looked from the creature-- the kwami --to the door, and back. She crossed the room, unlocked the door, and opened it to allow the heroes to file in. Chat’s face glowed when he saw her, and Nathalie couldn’t help but ponder why he in particular would be this happy to see her back to normal.

“Hey, Duusu,” Jade said, leaning over to smile at the kwami. “Wayzz says ‘hi’.” He chuckled when Duusu chirped and shook her tail. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired from helping Felice fight off Hawkmoth’s control,” she said.

“Felice...” Chat pushed Jade aside to stand before Duusu. “As in...Felice _Agreste_?”

Before Duusu could answer, Nathalie spoke. “Yes. She’s...” She shrugged and crossed her arms. “This is going to sound crazy-- then again finding out I’m secretly a supervillain kind of redefines ‘crazy’, doesn’t it? --but Felice Agreste was the peacock before me.” The entire teams’ eyes widened at this revelation, but none more than Chat Noir. “Somehow, her memories and...lifeforce, as she put it, imprinted on my Miraculous.” She laughed to herself. “ _My_ Miraculous. That sounds insane...”

The heroes exchanged confused glances, but Jade only nodded. “Master Fu mentioned how past Miraculous wielders leave their memories and experiences in the jewels after they pass them on. It can help new wielders master their powers faster in emergencies.”

“Yes, well as...Duusu was it?” Nathalie looked down at the kwami with a raised brow, and she nodded. “As Duusu said, Felice is inside my Miraculous staving off Hawkmoth’s control.” She turned to Ladybug. “As much as I want to be rid of this thing, she says I can’t remove it or he could take control of me again. Our only option is to take the fight to him.”

“Except we have no idea who or where the hell he is,” Queen Bee scoffed. “So unless Aunt...uh, M-Mrs. Agreste shared that little tidbit with you...”

“She did.”

The heroes immediately straightened and focused their attention on Nathalie. “She told you who Hawkmoth is?” Vixen asked. Nathalie nodded. “Who?”

“Gabriel Agreste. Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth.”


	6. Chapter 6

At Nathalie’s revelation, Ladybug clasped her hands over her mouth and shook her head. Vixen bared her fangs and looked as though she would murder the man were he in the room. Jade had the most subdued reaction out of the lot, only grimacing and turning to Chat Noir. Queen Bee’s eyes also shot to Chat Noir, which immediately drew Nathalie’s attention.

The feline hero looked like he was about to faint. He wobbled on his feet and braced his hand against the sink. Queen Bee began to rub his back, and Ladybug turned to him.

“Is he...alright?” Nathalie asked.

“He’s, uh,” Jade turned to Nathalie. “He’s...in the fashion industry and Gabriel is...basically his idol.”

Nathalie squinted at Chat. Who was he to react this way? She knew every face in the Parisian fashion scene, but could only recall a few people with blonde hair and green eyes. Then again, Le Paon and Nathalie looked nothing alike, so there was no guarantee Chat’s civilian self had green eyes or blonde hair.

“Chat...” Ladybug rested her hand on his shoulder and leaned over to look him in the eye. “Are you going to be alright?”

He didn’t answer right away. He squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. “Do I have a choice?” He stood up straight and offered his Lady a sad, forced smile. “I’ll be fine.” He turned his attention back to Nathalie and asked, “Where is he?”

Nathalie could tell none of the heroes believed him. She felt a strange desire to comfort him, but pushed it down because they had business to attend to. She pulled her phone from her pocket, checked the time, and said, “He should be in his office, finishing a conference call.” She turned to Ladybug. “What’s the plan of attack?”

Before Ladybug could answer, Vixen said, “We storm the castle and kick his ass.” Vixen pounded her fist into her palm. “What more of a plan do we need? It’s six against one; he doesn’t stand a chance.”

“Five,” Nathalie corrected. “I can’t go with you. Even if Felice is protecting me, we can’t take the risk of Gabriel... _activating_ me. If I become Le Paon again-”

At that moment, Nathalie’s phone chirped. She recognized the exact tone: Gabriel. She swiped her thumb across the screen and read his message. She swallowed thickly before announcing, “He...wants to see me. Says it’s urgent, but gives no details.” Her arm dropped dead at her side. “He knows something is wrong.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Queen Bee snorted. “It could be about...I don’t know...his line of hideous red pants isn’t selling like he hoped.”

Under different circumstances, Nathalie would have chuckled at the comment (his pants  _were_ hideous), but now she could only shake her head. “Gabriel Agreste is a detail-oriented man. He doesn’t send vague texts.” She looked back down at her phone. “He barely even sends texts. He  _hates_ texting. He has  _me_ do all of his texting.”

“Then you don’t have a choice.” Jade placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You have to meet him.” She didn’t look so sure of herself, so he added, “You won’t be alone; we’ll be waiting outside his windows.”

“Anything goes wrong,” Vixen added with a flick to one of her fox ears, “either me or Chat will hear it.”

Nathalie nodded and opened the shutters on the windows, allowing the heroes to leave. After taking a few bracing breathes, she responded to Gabriel’s text and quickly made her way to his office. She found him with his elbows propped on his desk, fingers laced together, his eyes on his computer screen. She didn’t like that posture. That was his ‘getting ready to fire someone’ posture, though she had a feeling they weren’t here to discuss her employment status.

“Would you care to explain why I received an alert that the security systems in Adrien’s bedroom were activated?”

His cold gaze made her sweat, but Nathalie simply swallowed and recited the lie she’d rehearsed on her way here. “It occurred to me that the systems haven’t been tested since Simon Says laid siege to the manor. Akumas have become more aggressive and I only intended to ensure Adrien’s safety.”

He squinted at her, as though attempting to peer through her, and Nathalie wondered if he could sense her lie through the akuma in her Miraculous. If he was indeed Hawkmoth as Felice claimed, he was certainly an empath and could feel her nervousness. She kept her face as calm and neutral as she could manage, despite her heart hammering in her chest.

“I do appreciate everything you do for my family, Nathalie,” he finally said.

‘ _Like do your bidding as a supervillain_?’ she thought.

“I have one other question for you, however.” He turned his monitor towards her and she saw on it a security camera feed: a grainy image of five teenagers in multi-colored costumes perched just under the window directly behind her. Nathalie didn’t recognize the camera angle. He must have had new cameras installed without her knowledge. “Why are the heroes of Paris eavesdropping at my window?”

Nathalie flinched at the sound of shattering glass. The five heroes burst into the room, weapons at the ready and their eyes on Gabriel. He stood, face as impassive as ever, and strode around his desk, arms behind his back.

“To what do I owe this unwarranted destruction of my property, Ladybug?”

She spun her yoyo faster and glared at him. “You tell us,  _Hawkmoth_!”

Gabriel did not react to the accusation, though Nathalie prayed he would. Prayed Felice was wrong, prayed he would deny it. Not that she refused to believe her employer was a supervillain, but because she didn’t want to break the news to Adrien. Finding out his own father was responsible for terrorizing Paris for years...

“Nooroo, Dark Wings Rise!” Gabriel cried. All deniability vanished as butterflies fluttered in from nowhere and surrounded Gabriel, covering him from head to toe. They scattered, and in his place stood Hawkmoth, enemy to Paris. He turned back to his desk and pressed a button concealed near his keyboard, raising an alarm that deafened everyone in the room. Steel shutters slammed down over the broken window and bars fell across the door, trapping the heroes within the office. “I must thank you for delivering your Miraculous to my doorstep, Ladybug, Chat Noir. Now I believe it is time to relieve you of them. Primal!”

A roar echoed through the room. Nathalie raised her eyes and saw a colossal man covered in black fur clinging to the moulding at the ceiling. Even through the ridiculous red and blue mask, Nathalie knew it was the Gorilla. He released his grip and dropped into the group of heroes, grabbing Jade by the leg and swinging him into Queen Bee. The pair crashed into the wall, cracks forming at the impact point and flakes of marble falling around them. Vixen flexed her hands, claws popping from her fingertips, and lunged. Unfortunately, Primal was far faster than she expected. He caught her by the arms, reared back, and drove his forehead into her nose, tossing her into the crumpled heap with Jade and Bee.

Hawkmoth turned his head to Nathalie and smiled. “Time for you to join him. It was you who broke my Meissen plate.”

Nathalie’s gut clenched at his words and she felt a low-pitched whine in the back of her mind. She could almost feel Felice fighting the akuma inside her. She dropped to her knees, squeezed her eyes shut, and wrapped her arms around her middle. She bit down on her tongue until she tasted copper, refusing to say the words that would turn her back into Le Paon.

“Seriously?” Chat Noir grunted as he vaulted over Primal. “You used a line from Outlaw Star to hypnotize her?”

Hawkmoth’s brow furrowed. “Outlaw...Star? Is that one of those ‘animo’ things you forced me to watch with you?”

Chat dropped his shoulders and groaned. “Oh come on! I’ve told you before, it’s anim-” Nathalie turned back to him, his words confusing her, and saw Chat freeze, his eyes locked on Hawkmoth. This was just enough distraction for Primal to drive his fist into Chat’s jaw and knock him to the ground. Ladybug attempted to lasso the beast with her yoyo, but Primal yanked her closer with her own weapon and pinned her to the floor beneath his massive hand.

“Don’t be so surprised,” Hawkmoth smirked. “I’ve known your identity for some time... _Adrien_.”

“A...drien...” Nathalie whispered, looking from Chat to Hawkmoth and back. She could see it. Though he wore a mask and acted nothing like the model she’d watched over for years, she could see it now. Young, blonde, green eyes, in the fashion industry just as Jade said. This also explained why Chat took Nathalie’s revelation so hard.

Chat Noir was Adrien.

“You’ve...known?” Nathalie growled, half from the pain of the akuma attempting to force her transformation, and half from an uncharacteristic rage building inside her. A rage that only grew brighter when Chat struggled up onto his elbows and spat out a thin stream of blood.

“Yes.” He nodded to Nathalie and returned his attention to his son. “I had my first suspicions just after Simon Says when I saw your ring, but after reviewing my security camera footage, I-”

“You...” Nathalie ground her teeth together and glared up at him. “You...knowingly... _willingly_...endangered him? Endangered Adrien?” Where was this anger coming from? Yes, she was upset that Gabriel had sent Akuma after Akuma after his son, but that anger could not account for the white hot fire building inside her.

Hawkmoth scowled down at her, the pink butterfly silhouette appearing around his eyes. “This is taking longer than it shou-”

_‘I’m sorry.’_

That was the last thought that went through Nathalie’s mind before she shouted, “Duusu! Fan spread!” Blue light engulfed her, and her mind went blank.

“Ah, there we are.” Hawkmoth shot Chat Noir a smug grin that disappeared when a gloved hand shot out of the blue light and closed around his throat. The figure he assumed was Nathalie forced him backwards against his desk, and when the light surrounding her dissipated, Hawkmoth gazed up at her in horror.

She wore Le Paon’s suit, though accented in green rather than black along her gloves and boots, and the long skirt was replaced by a train of peacock feathers. Her skin a healthy pink rather than sickly pale, her lips red instead of blue. A long blonde braid flowed out behind her, and a pair of green eyes, full of fury, glared at Hawkmoth from behind her blue mask. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter, maybe two, after this!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to my wife luckyfirerabbit and callmecirce for being my betas for this chapter!

“F-Felice?” Hawkmoth choked

“You unimaginable bastard!” Le Paon, the true Le Paon, shouted. ”You knew! You knew our son was Chat Noir and you still...” She trailed off, a growl rising up her throat.

“M-mom?” Chat mewled, his voice weak. Le Paon turned her head, her grip around Hawkmoth’s throat loosening just enough for him to push her off.

“Primal! To me!”

The Akuma released Ladybug and bounded across the office to join his master, but a blue fan whirling through the air stopped him short. It whizzed just past his wrist, severing his watchband and releasing the butterfly within. A second fan sliced the butterfly clean in two. A purple fog rolled across Primal leaving the Gorilla to fall to the floor, a heavy snore escaping him. Le Paon caught both of the fans and turned to face her husband, his widened eyes almost leaping from his head.

“You’re insane, Gabriel. You lose your wife and you believe the best course of action is to become a supervillain and torment an entire city in your quest for magic jewelry? All because you couldn’t let go?”

“Felice,” Hawkmoth pleaded, his knees finding the floor and his hands reaching out to her. “I...I thought you were dead. I...did it all for you.”

“You did this all for yourself!” she spat. “If you were doing this for me, you’d know that I love Adrien with all my heart! You wouldn’t keep him selfishly locked away! You wouldn’t put him and his friends in danger!” She glanced back to Chat Noir. He had finally found the strength to stand and was helping Ladybug to her feet.

She turned back to face Hawkmoth and gave him a look that was as close to sympathy as she could muster for the man. She said in a low, calm voice, “You would learn to cherish what family you have left instead of obsessing over me.”

Hawkmoth’s face fell, his eyes dropped to the floor. Without looking up at his wife he said, “Can you ever forgive me?” Le Paon didn’t immediately react, but she eventually reached out and ripped the Butterfly Miraculous from Hawkmoth’s neck. Purple sparks flashed over him as his transformation fell and he lifted his eyes to his wife. She paused for a moment, then clenched her fist around the jewel and brought it across Gabriel’s jaw. His body twisted sharply to the side and slumped to the floor, a thin line of blood streaming from his mouth.

Le Paon took a deep breathe and brushed a lock of hair from her face. “That was more satisfying than it should have been.”

“Mom?”

Le Paon turned and her heart broke in two. There stood Chat Noir, blood at the corners of his mouth and tears at the corners of his eyes. He took an uneasy step forward, then broke into a trot, then a sprint, throwing his arms around Le Paon’s middle and weeping into her chest. It took a few seconds, but her arms soon found their way around his shoulders.

“I-is it,” he sniffed. He lifted his head to look her in the eye. “Is it really you?”

Her heart pinched, and her throat constricted around her words. She bit back her own tears, and whispered, “Yes...and no.” His eyes searched hers for a better answer, but found none. She cleared her throat and explained, “I’m not really your mother. I’m...I’m just her memories, imprinted on the Peacock Miraculous.”

He shook his head. “No. No! You’re here and I’m here and we’re here and we’re together again and...” He dropped his face against her chest again and sobbed.

Le Paon reached up to pet him and scratch behind his cat ears. “I’m so sorry, Adrien. I may not be your mother, but I still have her memories and her heart. I love you just as much as she would, and I know your mother would be proud of you.” She smiled down at him. “I’m proud of you.” Her smile faltered and she stepped back away from Chat Noir. “Now, I know you don’t want me to, but I must go.”

“No!” He clasped her by the upper arms and pulled her closer. “Please stay! I-I don’t want to lose you again!”

“I’m burning through too much energy using Nathalie’s body like this. I have to detransform and give it back to her, or I risk my energy fading from the Miraculous entirely.” Le Paon pulled him close and planted a light kiss on his forehead. “Goodbye...my baby boy. Duusu-”

“No,” Chat pleaded. “Please no.”

“Fan...fan rest.”

Nathalie fluttered upwards from her dream (a strange dream with Felice taking over her body and knocking out Gabriel’s teeth) and found herself in her boss’ office with Chat Noir sobbing in her arms. She glanced up to see the rest of the team gathered close behind him, tears streaking down their masks as well. Nathalie looked down at Chat- Adrien -and somehow knew his pain. Knew why he was crying, just as she knew what the small lump clutched in her right hand was.

Her dream, like the many that had come before, was not a dream, and all she could find it in her to do was wrap her arms around the crying boy before her and cry with him.

(#)

Days passed into weeks. Adrien and Nathalie kept up appearances in public, but behind closed doors, they were absolute wrecks. Between the press and the police, neither had gotten adequate sleep in some time, though Nathalie’s nightmares had finally tapered off. She’d accepted that they would never cease entirely. Not to mention that after Nathalie had learned the identities of Team Miraculous (Adrien’s classmates and ‘poly pals’, as Mrs. Cesaire called them), they had taken her to the Guardian, Master Fu, to return the Butterfly Miraculous. When she attempted to return the Peacock with it, the old Master simply held up a hand and told her to keep it. Destiny wanted her to have it. She scoffed, the sound echoing throughout her empty office.

Destiny.

Destiny was a funny thing, pitting father and son against one another. Forcing her to share headspace with the woman she loved. However, as much as she despised destiny and what it had done to her, to Adrien, and to Paris, she continued to wear the feather pin. If not to eventually become a hero, though she balked at the idea, then to have Felice to keep her company.

A quick, light knock came at the door, and Nathalie gave permission to enter. Adrien slid silently in, looking weary and beaten. He slumped into the chair across the desk from Nathalie and blew a puff of air between his lips.

“So, how are things?” Nathalie asked, her voice low and professional.

Adrien groaned, rubbing a kink from her neck. “In between interviews with the police and dodging the goddamn paparazzi-”

‘Language,’ Nathalie felt Felice say in her mind. She hid her small grin behind her glass of scotch.

“-I checked in with Alya and Nino. They’re using her illusions and their combined techno-knowhow to doctor security footage and fabricate alibis for you. I’ve also been helping Marinette work the press to spin Le Paon as another Volpina; just another Akuma impersonating a Miraculous wielder. We’re just lucky fath...” He grimaced. “Father hasn’t exposed you.” He lifted his head. “How about you?”

She adjusted her glasses. “The police have almost finished taking statements from Gabriel employees, stock prices are down six percent, and some suppliers have backed out of their contracts, but not enough to cripple-”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Nathalie turned to his tired yet stern gaze, and sighed. “I’ve...thought about your offer to join the team, but I still think the Peacock Miraculous should go back to Master Fu.”

“You’d make an amazing hero, Nathalie.”

“I don’t think I would, but I thank you for the vote of confidence. All of that aside, Paris doesn’t need heroes anymore. Gabriel is behind bars; the fight’s over.”

Adrien shook his head. “Master Fu said there are more threats to this world than Hawkmoth, and even though Paris doesn’t need heroes right now, maybe the world does.”

Nathalie smirked. “Taking your show on the road?”

“Chlo’s already offered to buy us a private jet and paint it in Ladybug spots.”

“Subtle.”

The pair shared a short laugh until silence settled back around them. Adrien shifted in his seat before standing and stretching. “I should...let you get back to work. I promised Nadja an interview tonight and I need to get ready.”

Before he could get too far, Nathalie called out to him. He turned back, and Nathalie said, “I just wanted you to know that...I’ve started filing paperwork to become your legal guardian. I...I know you’ll be a legal adult in just under two years, but...” She cleared her throat. “I don’t want to see you in foster care. And- and I know Ms. Dupain-Cheng’s family has offered to adopt you on multiple occasions, but...” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

Adrien cast his eyes to the floor, then met Nathalie’s gaze and smiled. “I think I’d like that.” She returned his smile and nodded as he left her office.

“Thank you, Nathalie.” She turned and saw Felice sitting on the corner of her desk. Since the final confrontation with Gabriel, Nathalie found she could see the ghost of the woman even outside of her dreams. “Thank you for taking care of him.”

“It’s what you’d want.”

“It’s more than that. You genuinely care for him. You want to protect him and that nurturing, protective nature is what would make you a magnificent hero.” Nathalie opened her mouth to object, but Felice cut her off. “Despite what you may think.”

“Felice...”

“Look, this whole ordeal with Gabriel has left you both broken. You feel guilty over being controlled just as Adrien feels guilty over being deceived. You both want to make it up to each other and to the world. That’s why you still haven’t given Fu the Miraculous.”

Nathalie’s hand crept back to the pin affixing her hair. She blushed and turned away from the specter. “Get out of my head.”

Felice grinned. “I kinda can’t. And consider this: how well are you going to sleep at night knowing your technically-adopted-son is off travelling the world and fighting supervillains?” Her smile softened and she knelt down to look Nathalie in the eye. “All joking aside, becoming the Peacock can help you realize who you truly are, help you become the person you were meant to be. It’s power can also be used to help you and the others find me.”

Nathalie’s head jerked upwards. “Find you? You mean...”

“Yes. Felice Agreste is still alive.”


End file.
